Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
