the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
