Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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