look no pants
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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