Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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