I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
