Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
