the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Redeem this text for a blowjob
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
