I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
