oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
