Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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