Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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