I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
