Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
