it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
