So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
