Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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