We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
