dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
3pm strippers are depressing
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
