you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
