She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
