I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
MIDGETS
????
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
