No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
