You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
