Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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