I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Randomize
