i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
