i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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