So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
