Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
