So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
