Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
