Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I need to calm my uterus...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
