ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
