just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
