you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
