smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
