dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
sex in a hospital.. check
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
