"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
