we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
