I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
