"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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