By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
