Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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