im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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