smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
