my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
