if only i could text you this smell
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
