Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
