yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
