My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
