I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
