I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
