Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
