the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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