I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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