I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
