I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
